Jo chaha tha vo bhool hui,
jo paaya hai vo chaaha nahi,
Me ghoomta hun,
Me ghoomta hun.
-Gulzar in conversation with Tagore.
Frigid, ice-kissed winter mornings.
Freezing chill elevates my spirit by altering the elucidation of all and sundry as pristine as a book ready for new stories.
Rosy cheeked tightening my scarf, i stamp to keep myself warm.
Cup filled with less sugar more roasted coffee beans. A final stir and the first sip of my coffee took away the naturally recurring state of my mind and body (characterized specifically as comatose in my case), just like an unwanted splash of cold water hits your face in Winters.
What i made wasn’t a coffee but an acid.
A muzzled look followed.
There was no one in the break-out area, i assured myself, succeeding a sigh of ease.
I started to walk towards my workstation, logged in and started working as routine. A chronic disease it felt to me.
‘Do not ever drag your life’, these lines came as an extraterrestrial thing to me as i happened to read the newspaper of that day featuring an interview of Delhi Times with one of the finest actors of indian cinema, Naseeruddin shah .
One sentence and everything flashed in front of me like a guiding light. Damn, its true, there are people like me out there. They think like me. And the realization followed.
Marked my first step towards liberation.
It took me more than half the light years to understand that i have to stop dragging my life and cut the ropes tied to allow me to fly between the spaces stretching to eternity and beyond.
Dreamy, isnt it?
Life has its own way of presenting things in front of you, so after following my heart, i started working on things i wanted to achieve rather stuck on things i felt dead about.
What happened later is fully justified by the lines at the very starting of the page by Gulzar in conversation with Tagore.
These despairing rhetorical questions that reflects the torment in my soul doesn’t mean that all i deem through heart over mind is illicit.
For what i once wanted to achieve nevertheless of what were the reasons for the same, one thing that remains irrefutable is, that i had a dream.
For a moment or two, for in my vision or none, in my thoughts, in my nights and in my days, the dream evoked in me the realms of anticipation amid the verisimilitude.
So here my situation gets stuck between the two ironic similarities of the evanescent natures :
The perceptions of life and the effects of time.